Another Lola Situation

It happened again!

Seriously guys, I'm not sure how much longer I can keep up with this. It's becoming unbearably painful to watch!

Just so you get the whole picture, let me explain exactly what happened.

Yesterday, me, Kurt and James (my two best friends and current housemates) went out for a drink which led to me waking up late for work. Well, that wouldn't be much of a problem if I didn't have to take the other two to their own jobs first.

I took the fastest shower ever, got dressed and, when I got to the kitchen, everyone else was still out of sight! I ran to James' room and knocked hard. There was no answer but I knew he was there. Even though he didn't come home with me and Kurt, I could hear him snoring on the other side of the door. I knocked on the door again, this time a little harder, followed by two shouts.
Finally I could hear something moving inside the room, but let’s just say I wasn't really prepared for what I was about to see. James was wearing a fuchsia dress, way too tight for his overweight body, and a messy big black wig. My first thought was "Oh, no! Not Lola again!" and I can almost swear that my sight was gone for some thirty seconds as a reaction to what I was witnessing.

To make sure you understand my "Lola drama", I feel the need to give you a little bit of a background to James' history. Not that long ago, James was a “normal” kid (just a year younger than me and Kurt) with real issues, being the main two his sexuality and the fact that he is heavily overweight for his age. Then we moved to the "big city" to work and James found himself lost in the big gay world…Then Lola was born. James’ wardrobe was soon filled with all kinds of dresses and wigs, and for my demise, there was makeup all over the bathroom I shared with him. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against my friend being a transvestite, the only problem I have is that Lola, that alter-ego who apparently had been hidden from the world, brought out the worst in James.

Gathering all my strength, since I'm not one of the most hung guys on the planet, I dragged James to the bathroom to put him under a cold shower so he could sober up and, when I thought I'd seen it all, James in his half-drunk and still totally high state, starts blabbering about that he could never have sex with me because I'm one of his best friends and that he never thought I was the kind of kinky person who would want to do it in a bathroom. All of this because I was trying to take his dress off which, by the way, I wish I wouldn't have done because the image that came after was terrifying since the only thing James was wearing underneath the dress was some pink panties. 

After turning on the water I pushed my friend under the cold shower and it was a relief to know that, in his current state, he didn't have much strength or else I wouldn't have been able to keep him under the cold water. But then, when I thought that my only lasting problem was that it would still take a while for him to sober up completely, which meant that I would totally get late for work, he revealed that there was some old dush sleeping in his bed.

I was starting to get really sick of that whole situation and my anger was starting to boil on the inside. I left James under the water, giving him a five minute warning for him to recover, and stormed out of the bathroom in direction to his bedroom. Passing through the kitchen I saw Kurt rolling his wheelchair and preparing breakfast. (I’ll get to the fact that Kurt is in a wheelchair some other time. Sorry guys!) After saying our good mornings, he kind of figured out immediately what was going on. I told him about the old pervert sleeping in our housemate's bedroom and he made one of his normal jokes on how I should go and kick his ass out of our house since he couldn't.

When I got into James’ room, the first thing I did was open the curtains and let the sunlight invade the space. Lying on the bed was an old guy, completely naked, bald, with a thick mustache. Oh… and did I mention COMPLETELY NAKED?! Seriously people, I wasn't born to deal with this kind of shit!

I picked the guy’s clothes of the ground and threw them to his face, causing him to wake up. When he finally figured out I wasn't big fat Lola I could see the confused look on his face. Since I didn't want nor either had the time to dwell on the guy for too long, I began to hurry him up to leave our place. He complained on how it was James – or should I say Lola – who invited him in and that he didn't want any trouble. I was almost at my breaking point, wondering how that old pervert could take advantage of my drunk and high friend. I was getting so mad that I almost kicked him all the way to the front door. He was still carrying his pants on his hands when I finally got him to leave the apartment when something fell out one of his pockets. I bent to pick the shiny object and I couldn't believe it was a wedding ring. Can you imagine? The guy was married! What a dick! I threw the ring back at him saying, as sarcastically as I could, that I didn't want him to have any trouble with his wife for not wearing his wedding ring and I closed the door on his face just in time to see James getting out of the bathroom with his usual guilty/sad look.

This was the highest point of my day. Well, this and getting at work pretty damn late! But I got to believe that better days will come.